Tips for a D.I.Y. Wedding
When Jason and I decided to get married we started talking about the wedding that same day. Within two months we had a venue booked for the ceremony and reception and we were off and running. Right from the start I knew I wanted to do a lot of things myself. I was making lists of the projects I wanted to complete for our wedding right from the start. I had two motivations for this, first of all I'm frugal and second of all I wanted to show off in my own way. Some people might like to show off with a lavish display but to me that display is only worthwhile if I can say I did a lot of it.
For my wedding I made my dress, the flower girl's dress, decorated the bubble jars, collected eclectic vases for the tables, made the table cards, painted porcelain birds for the centerpieces on each table, helped arrange the table centerpieces, made bridesmaid's gifts and I taught myself calligraphy to write addresses on our save the date cards and invitations. And those are just the things I can remember right now! The list goes on and on. I learned a lot in the process and if you want a DIY wedding I can offer you some advice.
Most of all I feel I accomplished something by working so hard for our wedding. When I think about it I'm extremely proud of what we did and I feel it really reflects the kind of people that we are because we put our hearts and our creativity into our wedding. Whatever you decide to do for your wedding make it a reflection of the two of you and don't feel obligated by traditions unless they are meaningful to you as a couple.
For my wedding I made my dress, the flower girl's dress, decorated the bubble jars, collected eclectic vases for the tables, made the table cards, painted porcelain birds for the centerpieces on each table, helped arrange the table centerpieces, made bridesmaid's gifts and I taught myself calligraphy to write addresses on our save the date cards and invitations. And those are just the things I can remember right now! The list goes on and on. I learned a lot in the process and if you want a DIY wedding I can offer you some advice.
1. Ask for help. My sister makes beautiful origami flowers and she generously agreed to make some for me to use in the wedding. We had origami flowers in the bouquets, the centerpieces, and the boutonnieres. My friend Amanda is an extremely talented floral artist. When she offered to help me with the wedding I immediately asked if she would help me with the flowers. She agreed and the day before the wedding we went to a flower wholesalers market and bought a ton of flowers. We spent almost the entire day arranging flowers with my sister and I'm so grateful that they helped me. Amanda took charge of the bouquets and boutienerres and they were so beautiful. I would never have been able to make them look nearly as beautiful as she did. I did learn a lot about doing centerpieces, though! On our flower arranging day I provided champagne and lots of snacks to show my appreciation for the help.
2. Make lots of lists. Right from the start I was making lists of projects I wanted to do for the wedding and making timetables of when certain steps needed to be completed. I bought a 3 ring binder and I took it with me practically everywhere. In addition to holding all my lists together I had sections for the catering information, the venue information, research information for projects, and so on. If you are going to DIY you can't be lazy. I had projects completed over 6 months in advance of our wedding and I spent countless evenings and weekends working on them. For me it was fun but if that sounds awful to you then you might want to cut down on the number of projects you are going to complete. While I was working I would usually imagine our guests enjoying the things I had made and that made the work fun.
3. Be ready to compromise for your budget. I had lots of ideas that didn't work for budget reasons. I heard about another woman who did a DIY wedding and since she and her fiance collected vintage china they used lots of different styles in their place settings. I thought that was such a great idea! I immediately began looking at thrift stores and on eBay but in the end it was going to be a lot more expensive than renting place settings plus I didn't know where the heck I was going to store it all after the wedding! I decided instead to rent the china and I collected various whimsical vases from thrift stores and eBay and other sources and used those for my centerpieces and in various locations around the venue. The total cost for vases was about $70 and I got over a dozen pieces for that.
4. You are not going to do all the projects you want to do. On my first lists I was going to make all the bridesmaids' dresses and make neckties and pocket squares for my fiance and the groomsmen. I was going to bake cookies and package them nicely for wedding favors. HA! Some things had to get scrapped along the way because in addition to all the projects I was doing there was all the OTHER stuff that has to get done for the wedding plus I had to work and have a life. I was sad to give up some of my great ideas but when I think of everything we did do for the wedding I'm really proud.
5. Things are a lot easier when you fiance is on board. Jason is a very creative person and always bursting with ideas, so he was the best partner I could have imagined in the planning process. I think we split the work pretty evenly and everything he did was done beautifully. He has quite the green thumb, so one of his ideas was to harvest seeds from flowers he had grown and package them for wedding gifts. He collaborated with the printing press about our wedding invitations. I didn't get to see them until they were done because he wanted to surprise me and they were gorgeous. He planned the honeymoon and he and his groomsmen decorated the ceremony area, too. We had a lot of fun planning the wedding together. I think the only difficulties we ran into were because we each had so many ideas about what we wanted to do! If he hadn't been so enthusiastic about everything we did it wouldn't have been fun at all.
6. The library is a wonderful resource. I checked out countless books about every topic relating to weddings and crafts. I taught myself calligraphy from a library book. I got lots of ideas about how to save money and different projects that could be done to make a wedding more special. Before you go to the bookstore, go to the library. I didn't buy a single wedding book.
7. Accept your limits. In the beginning I thought I could make virtually everything myself. From a certain perspective I was right, I could have done it all. But who wants to? You are going to have to let some things go. Don't let it ruin your wedding. Because I was so involved in our wedding there were things that I particularly noticed had not happened the way I had planned. Instead of letting it upset me that these little details weren't perfect I just looked around at our family and friends having a nice time at our wedding and let myself be happy that we were all together on one of the most important days in my life.
Most of all I feel I accomplished something by working so hard for our wedding. When I think about it I'm extremely proud of what we did and I feel it really reflects the kind of people that we are because we put our hearts and our creativity into our wedding. Whatever you decide to do for your wedding make it a reflection of the two of you and don't feel obligated by traditions unless they are meaningful to you as a couple.
--Amelia Hayes
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